I received a free copy of this book for my honest, non-reciprocal review.
The Peacock Angel: Rise of the Decarchs, is a story told from a number of perspectives, and there are stories written within stories, as the current events take place. War is coming, a prophecy has been foretold, and the stage is set.
If you took the story and chopped it in 3 parts, this is what I think you have: an action-based beginning, a backstory- filled narrative, and a quick ending. So let’s take these one at a time.
In the beginning, we read about events that happened thousands of years ago. We move forward to 1970, when some more disturbing things take place, and characters are introduced and things happen. Then we spring forward to 1994, where we begin to learn about our character, Thane. After this we read about demon events and are introduced to Cane, Thane’s brother.
Once Armaros rescues Thane, we enter stage 2—the back story that takes up a lot of space.
Finally in Chapter 35, the story starts to take off again, and comes to a quick conclusion.
First of all, the main human characters, Thane and Cane, are different from each other, and it is apparent that the author has no love for Cane, while Thane is the Child of Truth. This was a big turnoff to me as a reader, so what do I care what happens to Cane? I didn’t, but I should have. He was not around long enough to see his brighter side. He was an undeveloped character. And though Thane was described differently, he certainly didn’t show much intelligence near the end of the story. These characters did not work for me. The archangels and demons seemed to have more of the author affections (as well as some for the priest and the woman), and it showed. It didn’t set right with me because I could not relate well with them.
Next there is the pacing. In the beginning of the story, the author does an excellent job of building the suspense in a couple of scenes. But then he let it drop. The next chapter would come, relating to some other event, and there went my desire to read any more. I felt like I was being teased just when things were getting good. Several times I just stopped reading. And then, there is the middle of the story, which, in my opinion, is the biggest problem of all. Backstory, especially in huge chunks like these, should not go into a story, not if you want to keep the reader reading. It is un-relatable as I, the reader, want a story that moves forward, not a backstory. Why would Armaros sit back in a chair and take all the time to describe a billion things when there is so much currently at stake? Was he completely unaware of the danger? If so, his character is called into question. Too much backstory like this brings the pace to a grinding halt.
The last part of the story was disappointing because I was expecting Thane to step up to something much more than he showed himself to be. I wanted to see Thane’s involvement in at least some great thing he does now, not in a sequel. He failed miserably, and I lost some respect for him as any Child of Truth.
It is a story like this that I think has potential, but would need a significant rewrite.